TristanIsNine

This past week and then weekend was a doozie.  Is that a word?  I don't think so - BUT - you get my point.  It stunk. Ya know those times when you bear your soul, the hard, the icky stuff that no one really wants to talk about and then someone walks up to your gaping wound and pours salt in it?  Yeah... that happened. And then, when the people that you are supposed to lean on, love and trust - no matter what - and for the ump-teenth-time they break your heart into tiny pieces?  Yeah, that happened. And ya know when you do your absolute best and it's not even close to being enough?  Yup, that too. And then when your most prized person in life isn't fully ok, and you don't know if you should step left or right... so you stand still wear tear stained cheeks and you just wait.  Because that's what He tells you to do.  Wait.  That happened too. But He does little things... Like a friend I will never meet this side of Heaven... she sent...

My boy snuck out and made me this... I might have mentioned that I REAAAALLY wished he made me one. I thought he was watching Shaun White win gold.. he was...but he was also filling my love tank!! These were all the cards he got... my boy is so loved (and spoiled!) Grammy, Aunt Jeanne, The Mays, me.. etc. Then I ran to school and threw a quick Valentine's Day party! Kyla was sick so we made her a sign (#fail = too small!) proof I was there! Sheila was too!! then the best part of the night - Lee was in town!!! I just love him so much I can't stand it. Pretty sure T does too!! Happy Valentine's Day Bud... thanks for filling my tank!!

I am so proud of you Tristan!!

Just had to give a shout out to all of our friends and families.  Such kind words and compassion because people "get it" losing a pet is HARD. It's letting go of family. Our neighbors sent us Tiff's Treats... and my bosses sent flowers But the heart breaker was Taylor May walking into Tristan's Basketball game... Crying... and she hands me this We just hugged each other and cried.  And in that moment... the other 100 people in the gym didn't exist.  I had a sweet little 5 year old that (sadly) felt the same sadness I felt.   I'm thankful for compassionate people and people allowing us to grieve our dog.  Yes, he was just a dog to you... but to us... he was everything. ------------------ I hope you both celebrated Aslan's 1 year and your 1 day Anniversary in Heaven well!!! I miss you both so much - my heart feels like it could split in two.  Love, Mama

There is never a good time to say goodbye.   Yesterday we took our last walk as a family.  It was HEARTBREAKING. And today.. Tristan said his goodbyes You try and plot and plan the right moment.  You watch for every sign, you even ask them... you ask a dog "Are you ready?"   I wept, I apologized... I begged him to forgive me.  You see, he's given me EVERYTHING and I had to know that I did the same. I held him all morning and I held him until he took his last breath and when it was done, my heart broke.  Again. Holt's heart broke in two and well and it was just too much.  Too  much sorry.  I'm not even over Aslan's death and that's a year ago tomorrow. He attacked a dog, almost killed it.  He can't be trusted in public or with other kids.  Can he be trusted with Baylor?  Not sure. I can't tell you how many times I had to say "Drop the puppy".  And other kids i...