Goodbye Simba - thank you for giving me EVERYTHING


There is never a good time to say goodbye.  

Yesterday we took our last walk as a family.  It was HEARTBREAKING.



And today.. Tristan said his goodbyes




You try and plot and plan the right moment.  You watch for every sign, you even ask them... you ask a dog "Are you ready?"  

I wept, I apologized... I begged him to forgive me.  You see, he's given me EVERYTHING and I had to know that I did the same.



I held him all morning and I held him until he took his last breath and when it was done, my heart broke.  Again.


Holt's heart broke in two and well and it was just too much.  Too  much sorry.  I'm not even over Aslan's death and that's a year ago tomorrow.

He attacked a dog, almost killed it.  He can't be trusted in public or with other kids.  Can he be trusted with Baylor?  Not sure. I can't tell you how many times I had to say "Drop the puppy".  And other kids in my house... what if he snapped?  What if he bit Tristan.  He could kill.  I don't think he would EVER mean to... but he could. He's old, he has less patience.  He could.

So my mind knew it was right but my heart... my heart just said no.   


And there are moments it all FEELS like too much. Too sad, too hard... but they are worth it. I have always had such a love for animals and the pain of losing them is worth the love they give. It just is.  



So, here I sit.  I have no more ridgebacks.  They were my fur-babies.  They were my confidants, my best friends, my snuggle buddies.  I believe animals go to Heaven because it's a perfect place and animals make my life beautiful.

Thankful for this little nut too - she will soften the blow for Tristan.



Simba... I know the moment when you laid your head in my hand today and took your last breath you were immediately in the presence of the Lord and of Aslan. I know he rejoiced at seeing you and now you can celebrate his true BIRTHday in Heaven.  Please watch over us.. speak to Baylor and help her to be Tristan's best friend like you and As were mine.

I will never, ever forget all you gave me. I will never forget how safe I felt when you were with me and I don't know if I will ever feel that safe again. I love you Simba - thank you for giving me EVERYTHING you had for almost 11 years.  Love, Mama





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